Guess what? Something NEW!

Today was my Chinese Oral O Levels. Gosh how crazy! I just hope i did well haha. Well today there is a few things i wanna talk about. First is Stress. Wow it had been so many year since i was born and finally i truly felt what the hell was stress. If you know me well i do not normally feel stress or anything in particular. But now the is end of mid year and i came back to school and this was the first week of term three and i could feel the intensity of stress. The amount of stress given was huge. How crazy eh? Me, the freaking boring, emotionless person finally feel something that normal people feel. It is a new feeling i would say. Then about the Orals today. I was trying to comfort people i guess? Well trying to comfort myself. Saying i am not scare? Well partly true and partly false. I guess i didn't fucked up.  I hope.

Lets move on. I am not sure if it is because of the stress i start to feel more violent these days. I always feel like punching someone or something. I kinda get more angry easily. Luckily, i can control my anger pretty well and i have other people who i can relax with. So now that this is brought in. Lets talk about the people i been hanging out with. Well i feel that the only person who i can relax with now and not feel so much anger and among my close circle of friends is the guy nicknamed Donkey. Weird eh? Why not Kenny? Or JJ who i hang out with the most? I dunno either. It is just that i and Donkey is more relaxed people. Well maybe it is because we don't get pissed off too easily? Maybe. Well i am not saying Kenny get pissed off easily but the thing is i dun talk to him much anymore. Well when i try talking to him, he kinda ignores me. So yeah. About JJ. Well he doesn't know how to socialize. I mean he do not even know when he pisses people off or being rude. Or is that i am just changing? Is my anger management decreasing or is it just he doesn't know how to socialize? Or is it both? I am so confused and adding in the stress level given. I am kinda going crazy somehow. I feel kinda angry most of the time now. Which is really really bad in my books. I never allowed myself to get so angry or feel so much emotions. This is making me more human? Which is kinda bad for me. You may ask why? Why is being more human bad? Well i am not sure myself. Sometimes i do not even know myself. Can someone help me? I just never considered myself to be so conscious of my own feelings. I don't want that at all. Is change bad? Am i really changing? Please someone tell me! These questions are going in my mind all the time.

Next item in mind is what happened yesterday. So yesterday i reached home at around 5 from school. Then i took a shower and on the air condition but i didn't did what i normally did. Like turning on the computer and use it till 12 am or 1 am but instead i slept. I slept from 6 all the way to this morning 6. I got 12 hours of goddamn sleep! I was so amused. LOL! Crazy isn't it? 

Last item in my mind is what should i do? Should i change back or keep the new changes and be a new person? *sighs* Someone answer this goddamn question! Well this is all i want to talk about!

Watashi wa Tachibana Yuuki desu. Ja!